Metta at the Mall
The other day, I went to the Westfield Fashion Square in Van Nuys with my mom and her friend, Yoli. I walked around with a conscious effort to practice Loving-Kindness and noticed a difference in my shopping experience.
Before, I used to be in my own world and usually ignored people that were around me. Maybe this was from shyness, anxiety, self-consciousness, and not wanting too much attention.
This time, I walked around in a state of presence. I made eye contact with kind eyes, smiled, and wished others well. I wasn’t expecting this to improve my own shopping experience but I noticed I gravitated towards statement pieces that resonated with a more positive side of me. I felt more comfortable chatting with people and noticed others enjoying a leisurely shopping experience as well.
I met up with my mom and Yoli at the food court for lunch and showed them my homework assignment about practicing Metta Meditation in daily life. They found it intriguing and Yoli read it out loud to my mom and inevitably anyone who wanted to listen in. As she was reading the gentle reminder that all people have or are going through tough times, the space around me felt calmer. Yoli shared that she felt one with her body and my mom shared that it allowed her to pay attention to not be so stressed.
I think Metta Meditation is a wonderful practice that can easily be incorporated into daily life, bring kindness into interactions, and improve how we carry ourselves.
Here is a general outline of a Metta (Loving-Kindness) Meditation:
Find your posture and use mindfulness techniques to arrive in the body and present moment.
Imagine in the mind’s eye someone that you feel a deep sense of love for, whether it be a friend, family member, or even pet (it does not have to be a romantic sense of love - remember that loving-kindness also translates to “friendliness”)
As you visualize this person, contemplate their similarity to yourself (the fact that they experience suffering, and have the wish to be happier in their next moment) and use this to generate a felt sense of compassion and care in the body.
Begin to offer them phrases of Metta or Loving-Kindness: “May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be free, etc.”
As you offer these phrases, notice the sensation of love or compassion growing in the body, and from this place, begin to imagine a second person in the mind’s eye.
Bring to mind a person that you don’t feel love for as easily. Someone whose face you can imagine, but that you don’t know very well, such as a new coworker or the barista at your local coffee shop. Begin to contemplate your similarity to this person and use this sense of compassion to offer them phrases of loving-kindness. Repeat these phrases if you feel genuinely concerned for their wellbeing.
Bring to mind a person that is challenging or difficult for you, and begin to contemplate your similarity to them, in the same way. Even if the sensation of genuine compassion is a little more difficult to generate with this person, begin to offer them phrases of loving-kindness as well until your feeling of resistance softens even just.
Finally, begin to send Metta or loving-kindness out to all life everywhere, imagining all people, all animals, all insects, and of course, yourself.
Begin to return back to the experience of your breath and body in this present moment.
Close your practice by dedicating the merit to the benefit of all beings.
January 24, 2023
